Santa Cruz Breakdown

I’m a recovering control freak. I’ve been in this process of continually learning that a) I’m not really in control of anything – except my responses to God, others, and situations and b) the God who is in control does a better job controlling things that I ever could anyway. Do you wanna know what God’s version of graduate school training in relinquishing control looks like? It looks like losing control! Over this last month I’ve been dealing with one thing after another needing fixing, or radical repair around my house. Light bulbs have gone out, an entire sub floor of my daughters shed/room rotted out and required radical construction work, our oven stopped working, our vacuum cleaner broke, and now we have to replace our dishwasher. You can only imagine how every new breakdown hits on my raw nerve of control. Through it all God is laughing with me (maybe a little at me) as I’ve just had to let Him show me what to do next, how to fix things, where to ask questions, where to get help, and how to trust Him in the ambiguity of unsolved breakdowns. God is hilarious in how He chooses to refine us – but I’m thankful for each breakdown because God is using all of it to help me experience just a little more recovery from my addiction to control.

About Andy Lewis

Andy is an author, pastor, and musician who lives in Santa Cruz California. Currently he serves as lead pastor at Faith Community Church in Santa Cruz
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