This is my last post about my doody duty story (it all began with “I’m Sorry“) – I promise. I quickly realized that my so-called “repentance” was infuriating to my wife. Why wouldn’t it? It wasn’t hard for Aleta to figure out my heart wasn’t into what I was saying and doing. Thankfully, I was able to catch myself playing false with my wife, and I began doing what I should have done at the very beginning. I began to actively listen to how she felt, and listen to the reasons why my mistake bugged her. As I really listened, I began to understand that no matter how little a thing I thought this was, this really bugged my wife (she got to decide what really bugged her, and I didn’t), and if I wanted peace I’d better understand her. In that moment, I put my hands, that had been raised in false surrender, down and said, “I didn’t realize this really bothered you and I’m sorry. I will do my best to not let it happen again.”
The next week I when mowed the lawn again I could have ignored our previous conversation, but instead I got a plastic bag, collected our dog’s special little gifts, threw them away, and then mowed the lawn. Why the change? Because I really love my wife! She has showered me with more grace and more love than any other human being has ever given to me. Why wouldn’t I care about something that bugged her? Why would I want to wound her any more? So it is with a God who loves us so relentlessly.
When God corrects me and redirects me, I’ve found it’s a good idea to ask myself an important question. “How much benefit do I want out of this correction?” I’ve found that I get maximum benefit when I don’t say what I think God wants to hear, but tell the truth. I get maximum benefit when I don’t put on an act to just get God off my back, but respond as He’s asked me to respond. When I respond in this way I’ve found that my recovery and healing proceeds much more quickly.